Things that make you go “ewww”

Lest today turn into a bank of little public service announcements, it’s time for some "all about me"… I am bothered at the moment, and I must confess why.  There’s a mouse in my house, and it’s doing my head in.  First problem is telling you this, for you are now thinking I’m a stinky bad housekeeper with rodentia running wild through my house.  Oh, the shame! 

Now I’m not afraid of mice, they are rather cute, I don’t scream when I see them or stand on chairs trembling, a la this:


But there’s plenty of backyard for them to roam in.  They even have a cockatiel cage to steal seed from, so why do they need to come inside and attack my kitchen?  HP has nicknamed the offending rodent "Rattus", but do not fear oh gentle reader, Rattus is only a wee house mouse.  But what’s doing my head in, you ask? 

1) Well we know that MICE STINK! ewwwwwww! The poo and wee it’s left behind is revolting me.

2) It’s chewed up some of the non-cannistered dry goods in the pantry, so I’ve had to chuck everything. And clean. And chuck everything out. And clean.

3) It roams around quite brazenly when it thinks no-one is watching but will hide behind the nearest object when I get up to make a cuppa.  Then if I’m standing there immobile, he thinks it’s time to make a break for it, and goes shooting past, scaring the pants off me.

4) I can’t poison the damn thing because I don’t know where it’ll end up and the cats and Lola like to eat mice, thus ingesting any poison.  (If the cats bring me in a dead wee backyard mousie, Lola swallows the poor thing whole before I even get close.) Yep, eww again.

5) Too many nooks and crannies in crappy old kitchen for Rattus to hide in.  When I went to bed last night, Sebby was staring at the space between the end of the bench and the dishwasher, waiting.  When I got up this morning, he was still there watching, watching.  I like to think that he sat there all night, but the lazy slug probably just was killing some time before I came out of the shower whereby he could launch into his morning "feed me, feed me, feed me" routine.

6) I’m starting to drive HP mad by obsessing about it. "Can you hear that?" "That’s him, near the stove". "Can you see him?"  "Eeek, I’m sure he’s behind the dishwasher".  "Eww this stinks," "Can we get a trap?"  "Can you hear that?" "That’s him, near the…" and so on.

7) This morning I had a dream that there were big fat rats everywhere. (I’ll just point out that I like pet rats by the way.) The rats were multiplying, but there were white rats, tabby rats, grey rats, ginger rats… argh!!!!!!!!

I’m safe at work at the moment, but God help me if I start to hear rustling anywhere in my office.

<a href=”; target=”_blank”funny pictures


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